Reflection
In today’s first reading from the first book of Samuel, we meet Hannah, a faith-filled woman who loved God. Her prayer would set in motion key parts of salvation history, beginning with the birth of her son, Samuel, who would become a great prophet and leader. But none of that was known to Hannah at that time. She is simply a woman who believes in God and is not afraid to speak candidly from her heart to her God.
Hannah was broken, desperate, bitter. However, she did not let that brokenness, that bitterness, turn her away from God. Instead, she was turned even more toward God, an example we can learn from. It is easy to shut God out when we are depressed or bitter, to blame God, to give up. But Hannah didn’t give up. She sought out the source of grace and turned toward the Giver.
And how did she pray? “…she remained long at prayer before the LORD, … Hannah was praying silently; though her lips were moving, her voice could not be heard.” She poured out her heart to God. I believe this is the kind of prayer God wants from us. God doesn’t want us to carry our burdens and be sullen and resigned. God wants to give us comfort, compassion, relationship. Sometimes our desires and prayers will be answered as they are part of God’s will for us. Other times our prayers will not be answered in the way we asked. However, God wants us to turn to Him first with our pain and disappointments and then to surrender to His perfect plan.
Like Hannah, I prayed with intense emotions and heartache for a child for five years. Finally, I surrendered to God’s will and asked the Blessed Mother for her intercession, “if it be God’s will that we do not have children, please fill this giant hole in our hearts and lead us to the good things God has planned for us.” This was a powerful prayer. Immediately my outlook and mood lifted. I felt a sense of peace knowing that God had good plans for us, and I trusted that we would be happy with His plans. Through this difficult trial my faith increased exponentially. My relationship with God became personal, dependent and peace filled.
Also, like Hannah, God’s plan was to bless us with a child. Several months later, on the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, we found out we were expecting and gave birth to a son on the Feast of the Coronation of Mary. Mary’s powerful intercession moved on the heart of God and our surrender to His will was rewarded. God also blessed me with a daughter, eight godchildren and called me into ministry with children. I could never have imagined such JOY.
God wants us to know that the Giver of all gifts is real, and filled with endless compassion, understanding and great love. I believe that even if God had a different plan for Hannah and me, our faith would have continued to be vibrant and trustworthy. Through our suffering and surrender we felt closer to God, and more ready to face the trials of our lives. I pray this journey for each of us, every day.